Dear, dear, praying friend,

Have you ever found that at tough times Scripture becomes a precious prescription for life? One of my life verses has been from Philippians. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation with prayer and thanksgiving make your requests known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus".

This week I found myself having to make a choice between two equally hard roads.  Should I go ahead with chemotherapy to attempt to slow down the growing tumors in my lungs? Or, should I say, "The side effects of this particular chemo are too great. I will trust God to relieve the symptoms of the disease as I walk with Him on this next stage of the journey." While I reflected on the two options, I felt turmoil and doubt as I contemplated the rigors of chemotherapy with no hope of a cure. But, I experienced a deep peace as I thought about not doing chemo. So, on Monday, I will see my oncologist and tell her I am ready for her to organize hospice support at home.

It seems to me Paul tells us not to be anxious because he knew that, faced with life, we would often find ourselves battling anxiety.  I'm at peace with the decision I have made, but this does not mean that I will not feel anxious occasionally as I face the process of dying. Would you pray that I would be helped by God to turn to Him each time anxious thoughts bubble to the surface?

You are probably wondering about those anxieties and fears. Right now I have tremendous peace. I know this is the gift of God and I am thankful to Him. But, as I think about my lungs getting less efficient, I am afraid of gasping for breath and suffocating. I need you. It heartens me to realize you are part of the team, even though you cannot be here. I would love it if you would pray for me. Each time you think of me please pray that God will continue to give me the peace that passes understanding, in exchange for the anxious thoughts.

I do have to tell you of one big encouragement this week. When I made this decision to have no more chemo, I phoned a dear friend who has many years of experience caring for people as they make the transition from life on earth to life with Jesus.  She told me she had just spent time with the Lord and decided to offer to be part of the team who will walk through this with me. Isn't God good?

I know these next weeks or months will be difficult but it blesses me deeply to know that you will be there for me, lifting me to the throne of God. I appreciate your loving concern and ongoing support. Thank you, my friend.

With much love and many thanks,

June